If The Buddha Got Stuck

If The Buddha Got Stuck - Book Review - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

I’m Stuck!

This is what I often hear from individual clients as the reason for seeking psychotherapy.

Charlotte Kasl, PhD. has written a brilliant book, If The Buddha Got Stuck, about the psychological make up of people who get stuck in their lives and relationships.

The fantastic thing about this book is that the traits of people who get stuck and the traits of people who stay unstuck are spelled out clearly. She writes with deep compassion and in accordance with Buddhist principles.

A great read and part of a trilogy. The other books, If The Buddha Dated and If the Buddha Got Married, are also gems, written in short chapters that can be slowly digested and integrated into your life.

I highly recommend all three. My clients always bring new ideas back to sessions as a result of reading her books.

What Keeps People Stuck:

  • A Sense of Helplessness.
  • Negative Thinking.
  • Keeping Life Chaotic.
  • An Inability to Calm or Soothe Oneself.
  • Difficulty Connecting With Other People.
  • Looking to External Sources For Happiness or to Feel Worthwhile.
  • Lack of Adequate Concept of Self Care and Setting Limits.
  • Belief in Absolute Definitions of Good, Bad, Right or Wrong.
  • Repeating The Same Behaviour and Hoping the Outcome will be Different.
  • Focusing on the Overwhelming, How Bad Life is, and the Terrible State of the World.

Traits of People Who Stay Unstuck….Most of the Time:

  • Confidence in One’s Capacity to Problem Solve and Take Action.
  • Unwilling to Remain in Extremely Unhappy or Stressful Situations Indefinitely.
  • Able to Give and Receive Support From Family and Friends.
  • Do Not Attach Ego to Success or Failure.
  • Willing to Experiment, Try New Ways of Doing Things, Make Mistakes and then Try Again with a New Plan.
  • Able to Tolerate Frustration.
  • Possess a Sense of Humour.
  • Demonstrate Profound Care and Concern for the Well Being of All Life.

Dr. Kasl emphasizes the need to be completely compassionate and merciful with yourself – to accept wherever you are at this moment.

It is important not to focus on the stuck aspects of your life, but rather take whatever items that are on the unstuck list that seem within your grasp, or you are embracing already, and start practicing them in the same way you would learn a new skill.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, September 25th, 2010 at 4:00 PM and is filed under Book Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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