Archive for October, 2010

Remove The Thorns From Your Heart

Remove The Thorns From Your Heart - Resentment - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Resentment and anger have amphetaminic effects.

They provide an immediate surge of energy and a numbing of pain – a feeling of personal power, which is a cover for underlying feelings of helplessness and inadequacy.

The upside of any amphetamine is that you get the powerful surge of confidence, but it is followed by an equally powerful crash. You drop down even lower than where you started. Read more »

To Love Big, Think Small Everyday

To Love Big Think Small Every Day - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Sustained repair and recovery takes little steps

It does not come in titanic waves, it is the small steady current that determines where the stream flows.

A full relationship recovery  is a quieter process. Relationships require a steady investment of time and emotional energy. Read more »

How Can I Forgive You?

How Can I Forgive You - Book Review - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Cheap forgiveness is a quick and easy pardon.

There is no processing of emotion and no coming to terms with the injury.

When you refuse to forgive, you hold tenaciously to your anger. When you forgive cheaply, you simply let your anger go. Is there another way of looking at this age old dilemma?

Is forgiveness good for you? Is it necessary to forgive in order to heal? Perhaps not. Read more »

Approach, Avoid, Attack

Approach Avoid Attack - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

All interactions are based on three behaviours.

In love relationships:

Approach is showing interest, enjoyment, compassion and care. You turn towards each other.

Avoid means you want to get away from your partner, blow off their perspective or have them shut up. The implication is that the other is not worth your attention.

Attack is an attempt to undermine confidence, to get the other person to agree with you and do what you want. Read more »

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