Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

The Argument Trap

The Argument Trap - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Continue arguing and you will become enemies.

Arguing works well for a court of law but not in your relationship.

For those of you with argumentative personalities you will want to read this post. You know who you are…. Read more »

I Win – We Lose

I Win, We Lose - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog Post

Do you have to be right at all costs?

Is your need to win destroying your relationship?

Try to win and you will both lose – every time, guaranteed.

There is one simple idea that can transform your relationship: Be more interested in understanding your partner than in winning an argument.

Embrace this principle, save yourself heartache and massive counselling or legal bills. Read more »

What Not To Say

What Not to Say - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

There are a number of ways to blow it…

…Especially when your partner is upset about something – her job, your mother, his health, your relationship.

Here is what not to say or do when your partner  is upset…. Read more »

Destructive Communication Patterns

Destructive Communication Patterns - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Which relationships will survive?

Which will falter, fail or self-destruct? We know the answer!

Dr. John Gottman makes the bold statement that he can predict with 95% accuracy whether couples will stay together or not.

His predictions are partly based on the presence of four destructive communication patterns: contempt, criticism, stone-walling and defensiveness. Read more »

Zero Negativity

Zero Negativity - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Can you eliminate all shame, blame and criticism?

Are you addicted to negativity? Are you a fault-finder or a love-finder? Read more »

Heading For Divorce?

Are You Headed For Divorce? - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog Post

Avoid becoming a divorce statistic.

Pay close attention to the research of Dr. John Gottman!

Learn about the “Masters” and “Disasters” of relationships.

Check out the article, The Top Five Signs That You Are Headed For Divorce. Watch the videotapes of the research couples demonstrating the behaviours that lead to divorce. Can you see yourself in any of these couples?

Keys To A Successful Partnership

The Keys To A Successful Partnership - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

What does it take to have a dynamic partnership?

There are certain habits that differentiate couples that will succeed from couples that are destined to fail.

If you want to be successful you will have to have these interpersonal skills. Read more »

Your Brain In Love

Your Brain in Love - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Ever hear yourself make any of these statements:

“She drives  me crazy” “I flipped out” “I lost my mind” “He knows the buttons to push to get me going”

Do you want to know why your reactions to certain conflicts are way out of range with the actual situation? 

Understanding the basics of brain functioning can help you make sense of what is happening in your relationship. Read more »

Unromantic Love Letter

The Most Unromantic Love Letter - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Love is a decision and relationship is a choice.

This phrase struck me on a deeper level after reading a copy of a love letter sent to me by a colleague.

Take the time to read it. I guarantee you will look at your relationship in a different light. Read more »

What Is Your Love Language?

What Is Your Love Language - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Why is she not moved by your efforts?

You took out the garbage and put down your BlackBerry but what she really wanted was a hug…that would have made the difference.

Your emotional love language and the language of your partner may be as different as French and Mandarin. Read more »

My Newsletter Launch!

Drum Roll Announcing Cheryl Woolstone Counselling's Connection Newsletter

I’m excited to announce the launch of my Newsletter

This is what you can look forward to when you sign up… Read more »

The Power of Connection

This video is amazing!

Take the time to watch. You are guaranteed to learn from this inspirational talk.

IMAGO Therapist and innovator Hedy Schleifer was invited to give a prestigious TED Talk on the Power of Connection.

If you want deeper insight into IMAGO Couples Dialogue, this is for you.

Check out the video after the jump:

Read more »

The Transformative Power of IMAGO Dialogue

The Transformational Power of IMAGO Dialogue - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

So, what I heard you say is…

…that every time I show up late you feel that I don’t love you and that you are very low on my priority list.

“Did I get that?”  “Is there more to that?”

Imagine hearing that from your partner when you are upset and angry. Read more »

Ineffective Communication 101

Ineffective Communication 101 - Cheryl Woolstone Counselling Blog

Under stress, communication often breaks down.

People end up doing and saying a lot of unpleasant and nasty things to their partner.

We all have patterned ways of reacting when feeling threatened, inadequate or fearful, which sabotage the possibility of connection and clarity.

We bring these patterned responses into our relationships. Often the learning begins in our family of origin. Read more »

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